So this happened…I’m driving down a two way street and I notice in my rear view a car LITERALLY on my bumper! I give the car a little gas, thinking I’m going too slow and they speed up as well.
Immediately, I began to get upset. In my mind, well, it actually came out my mouth as well… I’m thinking, “What the Heck, get off my BUTT!!” Obviously, this person has somewhere to be. So I politely pull over to the side and let them pass, only to see them speed up, just to stop at the same red light I’m going to.
I pull up beside the car, only to notice the driver is in tears. My first thought is, OMG is she alright? Light turns green, she’s off again.
I never got a chance to find out what the issue was and really, how could I, I didn’t know her. We were just two cars on the same street.
However, my mind began to wonder as to what could have possibly been the problem.
I automatically started to feel like crap with all of the things I said in my mind and out loud…but, honestly, she could have really been having a terrible day.
I know this has happened to many of us. If not, it will or something close to it. We’ve all had terrible days.
You’re late to work and this is the last chance you have, but EVERYTHING went wrong and honestly prevented you from getting there on time.
The dog decides to destroy a project you’ve been working on for months.
Death in the family
A customer goes off on you for something you didn’t do, but you can’t say or do anything because your boss is on your butt about “customer is always right.”
Arguments with your spouse before work
Found out the love of your life has been lying or cheating
You get blamed for something you clearly didn’t do
Pulled over by the wrong cop
The list can go on… my point is, We don’t know what the other person has going on in their lives at that moment. Many times, people snap/flip out/become extremely upset with you for something simple because there is an underlying issue they are dealing with.
We are all human, we’ve all done it. Unfortunately, we are like dump trucks. We start the day fresh and ready to conquer the world. We run into one, maybe two people who aren’t doing so well today and they dump their problems, issues, and anger on us. We sit and most of the time take it.
Then, as the day goes on, more problems come about…adding to the truck. By the time we think we can get a break and let off some steam, someone comes and puts the icing on the cake…your truck is full and you start dumping everything out on them… on the outside, you just look and sound like a complete jerk. However, on the inside, you’re tired, hurt, and half the time you just need a hug.
Let’s try using a little empathy when encountering someone who gets ticked off easy or seems to be super agitated and you know you did nothing wrong.
Half the time, we just gotta let it out. Give off some steam. Dump-Your-Truck…
When encountering this type of situation, breathe and just let them say what’s needed. If it’s a friend, let them vent then say, you ok? Stranger, just say have a blessed day and don’t take it personally.
Remember, we’ve all been there and don’t know what the other is going through. We’re all human…
Have you sat back and thought of all of the accomplishments you’ve had throughout your lifetime? When thinking on them, do you find yourself smiling and being proud? ABSOLUTELY!! You’re supposed to be proud of EVERY-SINGLE-ACCOMPLISHMENT.
I know, for me, I use to sit and analyze the things that went wrong in the process vs. what was actually accomplished. Think about what could’ve worked, what if I did it a different, maybe it would’ve been better and so on. I was that person who would get a compliment and instead of coming out right and saying, “Thank You”, I would actually downplay what they were complementing me on.
I use to think it was me being humble and by actually accepting the pride, I would seem arrogant and prideful…Was I the only one thinking that way? Nope, in fact a lot of women tend to downplay complements or accomplishments by saying things like:
Compliment: I Love your dress Response: Oh, it’s old and has a rip but Thanks
Compliment: You look great, have you lost weight?Response: You think so, I have a long way to go
Compliment: Your nails are amazing!Response: It’s actually time for a fill and they look old
Compliment: You did an Awesome Job on that presentationResponse: I hated my voice, I was trembling the whole time, it sucked.
GIRL BYE!! Take the compliment and just say Thank You.
If you worked hard for something, even if you didn’t reach the goal YOU wanted as of yet but you accomplished something… take the compliment.
Who really cares about what’s going wrong, what you haven’t done yet, or how you had to improvise to get there. You did it, You got this far…Take the Compliment.
As a matter of fact… PAT YO’SELF ON THE BACK for everything!!
You work hard and get to treat yourself… Pat Yo’self
You accomplished that goal or you’re almost there…Pat Yo’self
You’re handling your business like a BOSS, after all the hardwork no one ACTUALLY sees…Pat Yo’self
You’re rocking multiple titles, Wife/Mom and everything in between…Pat Yo’Self
For me, I never realized I did any of that. I never applauded myself for what I’ve accomplished. It was always… I haven’t done…, I have to still…, I could’ve…, I was supposed to…
Listen, once I came to this realization, that’s when I looked at myself in the mirror and just flat out said… “STOP BEING SO DAG’ON NEGATIVE!!”
I was too busy trying to replicate the wins of others. I was too busy thinking of what others would say or think about what I have or have not done. I was just so dag’on busy with all of that internal negativity, that I never really applauded myself for what I’ve done right. I’ve been blessed to make it to 40 years old and I have done some pretty cool things. The old me, would not have seen any of the coolness, just what went wrong.
I had to learn to leave that negative chic alone and work on being my own cheerleader, all while listening to my own advise. My intuition took over and led me into a more positive happier, and Goal crushing me.
So, Stop the internal negativity , Pat Yo’self and keep on being Dope.
Ok check it, every once in awhile I will post something I’ve never tried before and let you know how it turned out. The posts will always start with “She tried it”.
So this week, I took a virtual cooking lesson withHustle with Tasha. She offers online lessons on things such as cooking and fun DIY projects. This week the class was, “Cooking with Tasha.”
I was excited to join because, as you know, I loooovvve 30 mins or less meals. I’m super busy, but still gotta feed the family. So, she taught me how to make Bourbon Chicken from scratch.
Before the lesson, you receive the list of ingredients:
2 lbs boneless chicken pieces, olive oil or vegetable oil, salt, pepper and whatever seasoning u like for ur chicken, minced garlic Small apple juice, brown sugar, ketchup, apple cider vinegar, water, low sodium soy sauce, cornstarch, rice (whatever kind you like)
The lesson was fast, interactive and fun! I’m not gonna ruin it by telling you Everything during the lesson… you just gotta join to find out. However, You can follow her on Facebook @Hustle With Tasha. Hustle With Tasha
I was just excited because I found another 30 mins or less recipe that came out delicious for my squad.
Side note, we also had smoked turkey wings (chopped ). I mixed my corn with my rice and cooked them together IN the rice cooker… had to find a way to get them to eat their veggies. Easy clean up by using paper products…
30 mins or less annnd not washing many dishes!!! A win for a Sunday!!!
Good Thursday Morning!!! Waking up to the birds chirping, nice breeze through the window, and relaxing in bed make me want to just roll over and…STAY IN BED.
The thing is, I’ve made a 5 day plan to get in a minimum of 3.5 miles in daily. I’ve gotten to 5 miles a day and that endorphin drip right there starts my day off right.
However, there are days I’m JUST NOT FEELING IT. However, I push myself to get up and get moving.
Pushing yourself, for many, could be a simple motivational quote, a song, or you just telling yourself to move.
For me, I need visuals…
See the Thick chic to the right, in the grey top…That’s me. Laughing and joking with my girls. I had NO CLUE I actually looked like this. I really gave up on myself and didn’t pay attention to what I needed to do for me.
Fast forward to 2020, 162 pounds lighter and focused on making sure I DO NOT RETURN to that place. At the time, there were a lot of things going on, Depression-Heartache-Complete Unhappiness- and absolutely no focus to do better for myself. You really couldn’t tell from the laughter in the picture, my girls always had my back and made me laugh. Either way, this picture reminds me to get up and take care of me.
This is the type of visual/motivation I use to get up and push myself. Funny thing is, once I’m up and moving, I feel sooo much better when I’m done. Those endorphins make me feel as if I can conquer the world, at least for the day :).
So what’s your motivation? What gets you moving? I’m sure you were like me with alll the excuses in the world:
Healthy food is expensive when you have to shop for a family.
My knees hurt
I don’t have the right gym clothes
I don’t like working out alone
I’ll start on a Sunday, to get a FULL week.
The list goes on but, you can push yourself to get moving! Try these simple activities, 5 days a week, for at least 30 mins a day, and you will feel the difference:
Walk in your neighborhood 15 mins in the morning, 15 mins at night (or more) if you can.
Play outside with the kids; kickball, soccer, hide n seek
Go for a walk with your boo after dinner.
Join a virtual Zumba class
Pull up 30 min dance classes on YouTube
Join a gym (when they open) and do 15 min cardio or participate in the classes
Take a pole/exotic dance class
Find a fun workout that will get you moving at home.
Ask a friend to workout with you, that will keep you on a schedule and accountable.
These are just a few ideas to get you up and moving. Give yourself a goal and make a plan to get moving. Once you start, you’ll find that your body will begin to crave the activity.
ATTENTION: working out is only half of the solution. You will need to change your diet as well!!
That’s another post for another day, for now, JUST GET MOVING!!!
Trust me, when you make time for yourself, to make a change, the rewards are SUPER SWEET!!!
Ok, day 75 ish, I think, well it’s been a minute. We’ve been on Stay at Home status/Self Quarantine for awhile. Who knows the exact number, but what I do know is… I haven’t hung with my Girls yet!!!
Am I the only one going through “Girls Night” withdrawals? Heck no!! The WORLD is going through withdrawals, but the thing is, there is a way to get around it.
If you’re like me, you want to get dressed up- have drinks- laugh with your friends right?
Well, here are 4 ideas to have a good ole’ fashioned “Social Distance “ girls night.
Top 4 Social Distance Girls Night Ideas
Let’s get Virtual: get on Zoom and schedule a Zoom Girls Night. Have a fun theme, like a Quarantine Fashion Show. Everyone showcase their latest fits from home and make it super fun. I’m sure there would be a lot of laughs included.
Have a Sexy Mask day: get semi-dolled up, put on your mask and see whose the sexiest with their masks. You can add headbands, head wraps, crazy earrings, heck even a funky colored wig! Just have fun with it.
Host an online Family game night: One of my best friends came up with this idea and it’s been a blast. Each Friday one family comes up with a competitive game to play with other families on Zoom. Compete against your friends and their families and have a night of fun!
Host a Virtual Sip and Paint: The host would be responsible for the picture everyone would paint. Everyone else provide their own canvas, paints, and of course. Compare your paintings and just have fun with it.
These are just a few ideas but the point is to get creative and have fun. You can still practice Social Distancing while having a great time.